That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
