i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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