I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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