somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
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The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
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I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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