Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
