The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
