Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize