So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
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We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
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The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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