Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize