I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
