Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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