My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
