It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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