Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
