Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
