I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize