I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
