I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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