i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
