All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
