the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
