"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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