I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
