Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just gargled with NyQuil
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
