Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
