She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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