Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
