We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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