So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
