So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
