after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
