No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Randomize
