Me too!
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
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It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
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I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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