After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
