i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
