Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
one might say we're banned from that church
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
