margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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