i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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