I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
