the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
