maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
