Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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