too bad you live with your parents still
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
