Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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