if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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