I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize