is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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