please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
