Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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