Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
