This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
