Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
