I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize