She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
