Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
