She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize