out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
