That's when you crack a 10am beer
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
