mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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