I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
