What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
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