wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
