i jhust puked up my retainher.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
