just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
