i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
